Skip to main content

My attraction to white hair...





 I miss the old days when nothing was nothing,and something was nothing.I miss the innocence of cluelessness and the wisdom of simplicity.I miss the days when  everything was a mystery yet to be known and exciting to find out about.



 A few days ago, a normal conversation that was    mostly  a complaint about how this year is quickly passing  by and those dreaded end of semester exams are just around the corner..the only optimistic thing about the conversation was musing about the soon-to-be reality  of clearing four years of tertiary education…then  the conversation took another gloomy turn as we started talking about the job hunting period after school.( At this point in our conversation i was slowly  realizing  my very pessimistic side) What started out as a simple conversation at lunch hour turned into a sneak preview of the future that lay ahead…the  jobs we wanted, the day  we start to lying  about our age,how many kids we want ,when we want to  get married, how  to start our own business.It was simply highlighting the events  of a to-do list for our future.Even though we all have our different paths and aspirations for the future, it was clear that the common factor there was the passing of time. The most interesting part of our conversations was when someone started plotting a plan for hiding her age once the ‘time’ reaches.It didn't come as a shock to me because it’s a known fact that most women lie about their ages, what was shocking (to everyone else) was that I couldn’t wait to get older!! I CAN’T WAIT for the day I will be happily saying am 30  and I won’t care about it!! I will be the proudest 30 year old woman if I have to!  There’s something about getting older that appeals to me, maybe it has its roots in my last born syndrome  for always wanting to be like my elder siblings, have a  mature conversation without holding back your tongue because everyone will think of you as young and foolish… you can hold me against my word in the next 10 years when I will be 31(yes, I said it my future actual age) I know I won’t change mind.
     But that’s not the reason why I wrote this post, I wrote this down when I couldn’t concentrate on revising for a paper because my head  couldn’t take in any more information and all I wanted was to release something from my brain…I needed a mental break.I started thinking about little kids and how envious I am of their sweet little innocent lives…they don’t have to think of some philosophy paper or database terms like the ones  that got jumbled up in my head a few days ago..their minds are practically blank!! Simplicity at its best, i don’t remember being that blank or clueless but I can only imagine how easy life is for them…the only contradiction to my story of envy is that I would give nothing to go back to those days..nothing! Like I stated before, I want to grow old.. I want to increase in age, I want to be 30,40,50,60,70,80, and God help me 100!! So with this dilemma of wanting to grow old yet wanting to be cluelessly young and foolish, I decided that all I can do is take what I have but still remain a little clueless at times…it will sound so cliché ,but I know better than to rush into growing up.Life is interesting,whether old or young…(age ain’t nothing but a number!!)
I have  4 exam papers left and all I can say is all the best to everyone in the same situation as me… some things don't last   forever,especially exams.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A million tears in a thousand hills

It's hard to forget something that turns your life upside down ,it's harder still  not to wonder how life would have been like growing up in the land of a thousand hills..Sometimes am grateful that i was too young to know the evil that was happening during the Rwandan Genocide..then at other times i keep picturing the lives torn apart and destroyed by the wave of tribal hate. Its during such  times that i realize that the impact of such an atrocity is far greater than remembering every single act committed. My memories for the 1994 Rwandan Genocide are like a blank page slowly being filled by the stories  am told..endless accounts of nights of terror and days of struggle.Some lived to tell their stories while others had nothing but a corpse to re-tell their 100 days of horror.The one thing that  has always disturbed my conscious was the question why?Why shed the blood?Why let innocent lives get tortured ?Why kill another just like you? It's like a story of t...
Post a Comment
Read more

19 years later..

The past three weeks of my life have been a dream come true...not because i have stumbled into a load of cash or become a celebrity overnight. I have done nothing that seems out of the ordinary, but this event has and will forever  change my life.I have  no idea how to put it all in writing cause sometimes it still feels unreal. That dream came when i arrived in the land of a thousand hills,my home country Rwanda! I packed my bags so fast(still in shock).I got  on a bus(still in shock)n i saw my home country..still in shock!! It happened so fast and time has gone so fast..after 19 years of being away from a country i can hardly call home,i finally got to see where i was from,its like knowing a part of yourself that you didn't get a chance to live out. I won't deny that i  missed home,sometimes it felt( and still does) like i was a foreigner in my own home,everyone speaks the same language that am  able to speak but when i try to speak,it sounds so foreign!I...
5 comments
Read more

In another life...

"I wish I was strong enough to lift not one but both of us Some day I will be strong enough to lift not one but both of us" If these words were sang as a  sort of world anthem,then i think the world would be a much better place in some ways.I heard the song over the weekend and just one listen to it was enough to get my mind buzzing and for some time now i had never really found a song to say just what  i felt until i heard B.O.B on the radio rapping it out for the whole world to hear. So this morning,thanks to google i just found out that there are close to 7 billion people in the world...and am one of them!!So why in the world would such a song be of any help to me when am faced with this huge number of strangers i call my fellow human beings??How is it possible that in my own little ,maybe even meaningless capacity, i  could help  so many( 7 billion!!!!)???....but when i heard the chorus to this song  "I wish I was strong enough to lift not one bu...
Post a Comment
Read more