I can't think of a title, but I waited a whole year to write this down

For this post, I’ll begin my story with the most cliché of words.

Exactly one year ago today, my life changed. A day I never dreamt about, a day I would have never pictured in my head. It was a day with no expectations, and all I thought of was the end goal. I just had to get through day 1 of school and everything else would fall into place. 

But there’s a risk in never dreaming about things. You get overwhelmed by reality and become complacent. A lesson I learnt 20 days later. I remember the exact moment of this beautiful realization, and I’ve taken this lesson through the darkest, coldest, hottest and brightest days of my year. 

Lesson 1: Be intentional...dream of a goal

The chronic planner in me obviously loved this. However I admit, it’s both a blessing and a curse. I don’t take to surprises too well. But when you’re constantly mapping out your next steps, life sometimes rewards you. Other times, I learn the hard way that things will not magically work out just because I have a plan. God has a funny sense of humour and He uses it best when he cancels those ‘perfectly’ laid out strategies and plans. 

Back to being intentional...

Yes, I only knew my end goal. Like every student, it’s that stamp of approval that gets you a  neatly folded paper, black gown and cap. Signifying that all your late nights/early mornings/panic attacks/ sleep-filled classes/lazy days/ procrastination powered days/stressful projects and presentations/ gruesome groupwork...that all of that, and so much more has finally paid off. 

There’s beauty in having a to-do list and knowing why you do what you do. Being intentional did come in handy. Based on this formulae of: many small goals = 1 big goal, you can move mountains.

So lesson one, still a learning in progress ✔️, be intentional with every little thing. In the long run, you save yourself. It's hard but worth a try.

Lesson 2: Choose what matters to you, and stick with it 

Did I mention the frustrations of trying to fit reality into expectations?! If not, let me reintroduce this topic. 

New places, new faces, and a whole new climate! That has essentially summed up my one year and it’s been interesting trying to put that all down or better yet to breakdown the nitty gritty details of an experience that upto this day I’m still analyzing.  So let’s hope it’s a case of “good things take time”. 

In a world of fake virtual lives, and picture perfect memories, I decided to keep my online presence with the most candid images of my time. Yes I smiled through all those Instagram and Facebook photos because I was genuinely happy. However, there have been moments that can’t be instagrammable! But I wish I did capture each of them. Frustrated or confused  doesn’t really leave you much time to take a snap or two. My excuse also is that the world  needs more positivity. So I’ll let your imaginations run wild on my not-so-very-amusing-cheerful-memories. 

My only hope is that people will choose to admit that their bed of roses also has some mighty annoying thorns! It’s life, we get the good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful. To accept that technology can’t fix everything. Reality is what it is, it can’t be photoshopped. Show me someone who has it perfect and I’ll discredit myself. 

Comparison is a slow death. I remember sitting in a class and trying to analyze each of the 100 humans sitting there. What was their story? Why were they here?  Where do they come from? I was probably bored, or hungry or the maths calculations looked like hieroglyphics. 

It was such a futile and interesting experience which I still do whenever I find myself in a crowded place. I like to observe, creepy as it sounds, but you get to know people even before they get to know you. If that’s not a life hack, then ignore the last two sentences. Recklessly, this habit of mine has sometimes led me into a dark stereotyping pit.

I did get to compare some people in that class, and in the most superficial way. Again, I don’t fully advocate for this, but it pays to observe. When it doesn’t pay, you land yourself in a murky hole of comparison and self doubt. So how do you get out of this hole? You dig yourself out by constantly sticking to your own life’s script. Here is where the observation skills pay off; 

• When you look around you, you get to see beyond yourself. You don’t get stuck in your own little world
• You learn to appreciate everyone in their own element, differences and similarities 
• You become curious, you ask, you learn 

Now I did say this hack is not foolproof, and it can go bad real fast;

• You fail to appreciate your world because you’re constantly look out for something else. Appreciate and then improve...but it’s hard, it’s so hard! 
• You compare and lose track of lesson 1 (being intentional) 

It’s great to have it all figured out, and achieve goals and be amazing at things. But it’s the worst when you achieve something inauthentic, that’s not yours to hold and believe in. If you asked me a year ago what the highlight of my achievements has been, I’d have probably listed down a prestigious scholarship. Don’t get me wrong, it’s an achievement and God’s humour worked tirelessly in making that happen. But it needed to mean more to me than just a feature on my CV.

One year later, the highlight has been struggling, yes struggling, to create the most authentic of connections with human beings.  I’m very picky with who I choose to be around, but I’m learning to bring that human element to each connection. And again with the intention of meeting the right people and losing the wrong ones. Whether I get remembered for it or not, in life or in business..authenticity never fails. 

So if you ask me how my year was, I'll say 'places have been great, but people make it greater.'  2 lessons in 12 months. Thankful for it all. Good and bad.